I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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