I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
