I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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