My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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