brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
