You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
