I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
