he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize
