so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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