the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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