my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
