I want to make a zoo with you.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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