I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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