Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
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Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
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He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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