i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
