She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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