oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
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