Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
