Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
