Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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