So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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