I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
