yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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