Dude my mom stole all your condoms
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
How external is "for external use only"?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Randomize
