Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Randomize
