I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
ttyl tear gas
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Randomize
