"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
