East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Text me some of your sweat
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
