is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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