There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
