we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
