thus making me awesome and them whores
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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