Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
is wine microwaveable?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
