My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
