honey bunches of taint.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
