Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
