Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
