I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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