im having a threesome with these popsicles
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
