my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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