At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
