if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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