2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Please, let me fuck your mom
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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