how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
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Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
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