She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
