the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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