I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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