Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
