He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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