operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
