Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
