I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I need water and some morals
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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