So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize