3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I have aggressive nipples.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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