i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
i think i scared a bird with my dick
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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