She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
