youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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