what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
How external is "for external use only"?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize