i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
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