sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
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I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
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idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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