happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
