There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
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