420 ftw
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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