FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
