Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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